Who you're voting for

The presidential debate aired last night. It was so exciting. I couldn’t stop watching. It was vicious. Attacks were made, time limits were overrun, and moderators were ignored. That is what I call quality television. And there were no commercials! It was amazing. NOT!!!! That was horrible. What a waste of television. How many people actually want to watch people argue and attack each other for two hours? There must be a lot of them because reality TV ratings are going through the roof. Seriously though, the moderator at the debate was hilarious. Throughout the whole show, he was fighting to get a word in between the two yapping candidates. He usually didn’t succeed. Those people could not stop talking. Where did they learn to move their mouths like that? Were they dropped on their heads as a baby? Did their parents not let them speak for their entire childhood and now they feel like they have to make up for it? I think that they both have Diarrheaofthemouthicus. It is a disorder where can’t stop talking. The words just keep running out fast and loose. 95% of all politicians have Diarrheaofthemouthicus. There is no cure. The only hope for these people is to become a politician yap and yap until they say something good and someone votes for them. You know how I said I don’t like cats? I like politicians even less. What if we all just did the right thing? We wouldn’t need a government and there wouldn’t be any debates. We would all save a lot of time and we wouldn’t have to listen to two grown men fighting like children. We can avoid these horrors, but we need your help. Parents, stop the spread of Diarrheaofthemouthicus; don’t let your kids become politicians. Its for the greater good of all of us.

My name is Joe Shmoe and I approve this message.

This message was paid for by the Stop Diarrheaofthemouthicus Foundation.

P.S. Mr. Woody would like me to tell you all that he likes volunteerism.

P.P.S. The next post will be on Saturday evening.

P.P.P.S. Please do not be mean to the presidential candidates in the comments.

P.P.P.P.S. I am tired of typing P.

P.P.P.P.P.S. If you are still reading, you have no life.

P.P.P.P.P.P.S. If you are still reading, you have an unhealthy obsession with this post.

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. I know what you’re going through. You just have not find out if there is a point. You won’t stop reading.

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. You should get that checked out.

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. This fascinating array of P’s and S’s has no meaning whatsoever. You just wasted 17 seconds of your life.

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. The end.