The Rules

Joe Shmoe’s Random Rules to Live By

Rule #9

1. Don’t forget your towel.
2. Never go back for your bag. Never.
3. Follow the white rabbit.
4. If someone asks you if you’re a god, you say “YES!”
5. Never double dip the chip.
6. Never forget to log off of a public computer. I HATE THAT! Here I am trying to do real work and I have to spend five minutes logging off of this idiot’s account and then logging into mine. And if the bandwidth is full, it takes even longer. Are people so absent minded that they can’t log off when they’re done!? That is what’s wrong with our school systems; they make us forget what is actually important. We fill up our minds with pointless knowledge that we will never use and forget to do simple tasks like logging off. Geez, people.
7. Never eat ½ of a blueberry bagel in a cubicle in the afternoon in August in Albuquerque.
8. Don’t under any circumstances do what rule 7 tells you not to do. Just don’t.
9. Don’t jump off of Mount Everest.
10. Never dislike this blog for it is the most awesome thing every created.
11. Never trade Boardwalk and Short Line for Oriental and Marvin.
12. Always start with E4.
13. The pawns always go first.
14. Never question the randomness of this blog.

Many items are taken from popular culture including The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, The Matrix, X-Men, Seinfeld, and Ghostbusters. These happen to be some of my favorite books and movies. My favorite scene in The Matrix where that one guy is like “Freeze” and the other one is like “No, I’m awesome. You can’t kill me. You can point as many guns as you want at me. I will survive” And the other one is like “I’m just gonna stay out of the way and shoot some people.” And the SWAT people are like “I can’t hit the broad side of a barn”. If you what I’m talking about, please post in the comments. I like reading your comments. It shows me that someone actually reads this random and somewhat stupid blog that I created for absolutely no reason other than to see how many viewers I could get. However, if you know me, please refer to me as Joe. I don't want to have my identity stolen and then have to shut down this blog. Then, we would be in a scenario like in the last post. I don't want that to happen. My name is Joe. Got it? JOE! Not Jim, not John, but JOE! Don't forget it.